Hospital Diary
Context
These entries were written during my time in hospital, often under medication, fatigue, pain, or disorientation. They were never intended as a narrative — just a way of capturing what each day felt like while it was happening.
They are presented largely as written.
The Best News
The best news from the Christie.
Low grade and all removed. A few bits missing and scraped but otherwise intact.
Post-Op Day 0
Strangest day ever coming into the Christie having the epidural and then having no awareness until waking up in the recovery room. I remember a medical student did one of the cannulas but that’s probably it.
In the recovery room I remember having intense pain in both shoulders and being given something for that. I then had a bout of nausea and had a tube put down my throat and gagging. About an hour later the shoulder pain returned and I was again given some happy meds which wrapped the world in fluffiness.
Not long afterwards I started feeling dizzy and alarms pinged as my blood pressure dropped. More drugs introduced to counter the effect of the other drugs etc etc etc.
OCCU is a very busy and noisy place and sleep was a strange thing. I felt like when I dropped off that I’d been asleep for ages but looking at the clock it was mere minutes. This continued all night and it was probably the longest night of my life.
Post-Op Day 1
After a night of no sleep I felt like shit in the morning but thankfully pain free. The epidural is doing its stuff but there’s a balance between pain and being able to move my left leg somewhere.
There has been a procession of people to see me today including anaesthetists, surgeons, Miss Fish, dieticians, physios, nurses and a lot I can’t remember.
The only professional visit that really mattered was the one from Miss Fish who delivered the best news. No spleen removal, probable low grade and all removed. I could have hugged her if I was able to move.
Had a morning bed bath which was nice to feel clean and a clean of my teeth so felt freshened up. Had checks every hour and a couple of changes of gown due to wound leakages.
It was so lovely to see Wifey in the afternoon as it seemed like forever waiting for 2pm to come around although by this time I was feeling pretty washed out. I napped throughout the afternoon when I could but didn’t want to be asleep for Lucy and Luke’s visit in case they wouldn’t wake me.
It was lovely to see my other favourite girl and as soon as visiting was over I was asleep within minutes. Slept from 8 until just before 12 and then from 12:15 until 5am.
Post-Op Day 2
Had the usual procession of people checking in and then it was time for a proper wash with hot water and facecloths. It was good to feel clean.
Next it was time to face the chair and what a task this turned out to be. I had to manoeuvre to sitting on the edge of the bed and then stand. At this point the whole world went for a spin, tipping one way then the other all whilst rotating around me.
More help was summoned and I ended up sitting like I was ready to be launched into space. My blood pressure had dropped to 80/50 and it took a good 45 minutes for it to come back up.
This was the first time that I realised the true physical limitations of where I am at on the recovery road, and it’s a long road indeed.
Visiting time is always a good point in the day as it usually means the medical people are mostly finished. Today was different though as I was being moved up to a side room on ward 10 and so the process of preparation and handover began.
First was all the usual epidural and BP checks, then came the removal of the arterial line. This had been stitched in during my op and everything had to be done double gloved to maintain a fully sterile environment.
Dressing off, stitches out, needle out, pressure on then dressing on. My nose had a sympathetic bleed whilst all this was going on. The whole procedure took about 40 minutes and was extremely painful at times.
Finally I could go up once they found some porters, by which time afternoon visiting was over so didn’t see much of Nick.
Lucy and Luke came in the evening and helped locate my bag and sort out the bed table essentials. Phew, after that I was beat and it was only 8pm.
Post-Op Day 3
Progress is slow and steady and not without hiccups along the way.
The usual entourage of people filed past today including one of the colorectal surgeons who is very pleased with progress to the point that he said the NG line, drain pressure dressing and one of the cannulas can all come out/off.
The NG line is the biggest bonus as you can constantly feel it in your throat.
For such a simple and unassuming thing, the chair is currently my nemesis. Twice today I have made the transition to it and twice it left me feeling dizzy. Not the getting into it but the sitting in it.
I’ll keep trying as each gain is a step closer to getting home.
Food is back from today — not quite a cheeseburger but some apple juice and two bowls of watery broth are a start. Tomorrow it may be toast and omelette but somehow the latter of those two sounds the less appealing.
I’ve also now moved from my side room as some cunt — sorry, patient — required it more than me.
I’m in a bay of four beds with a fellow PMP patient who had his op Thursday and two others who I haven’t spoken to yet. One sounds like a right whinging get but I’m sure he’s ok really, the other must have come straight from theatre earlier in the day as his wife was with him until about 10pm.
There are rumblings coming from below as the full digestive process gets up and running again. Spoke to the nurse about this and she said it all sounds good and that I should be firing on all cylinders any day now.
Post-Op Day 4
Big changes are happening today and every one of them is a gain.
It’s quieter than a weekday during the rounds as there are less staff on, but the first is one of the consultants with his clipboard carrying entourage. He says the epidural and catheter can come out today which will be fab.
I’ll be moving onto morphine for pain control but I have to request this so timings are crucial.
Next up is the daily wash. Managed this but not the teeth clean before the wave of light-headedness descended. Lay back on the bed for 30 minutes and then got my teeth done.
I managed to stay sitting on the bed for about half an hour and no wooshie head. Progress at last maybe.
Next was a visit from the plastic surgeons which wasn’t expected and judging by the look on their faces when they saw the scar, it wasn’t what they expected either. A quick check of names cleared the confusion and it appears that they didn’t know the previous occupant of bed 10 had moved.
Thank god he wasn’t due to have sexual reassignment surgery.
I’m allowed food today and it’s quite a shock. I choose toast for lunch and am going to take it very easy as I feel so full after just a few mouthfuls.
Dinner is mash and gravy and actually tastes quite nice and is proper mashed potatoes not some packet rubbish. Even had an ice cream but this felt weird as it was cold on my stomach.
Now the biggie: I was given a 12-hour slow release morphine tablet mid-afternoon to overlap with the epidural being turned down then off.
After visiting, out came the epidural and out came the catheter. Just the central line to go.
After a few hours I needed the loo so decided to walk which entailed me walking and a nurse wheeling my trolley and being ready to catch me if I fall. No need though and I made it there and back without incident.
Later I had the last central line unclipped so now have complete freedom although the pegs are still in my neck.
I’ve been up four times in the night for wees and managed each time unaided. Sunday will be an exploring day.
The morphine is making me feel a bit sick but better that than the pain of not having it.
Small gains but huge mental leaps today. Could a Friday homecoming be a reality?
Post-Op Day 5
Strange day today as not much seemed to happen.
Started the day with a shower which was lovely and then a rather slimmed down clipboard crew for the rounds. He’s happy with everything and said I may find out on Monday how long the stay is expected to be.
I can also have my central line out today so that will mean full freedom of movement.
Bowels are still in shutdown mode so that has to start at least. I’m having to drink so much water that I’m pissing every two hours, night and day, which is getting me down a little.
After visiting and football, I was just done in and that pretty much ended the day. Didn’t even manage a little wander around which I was hoping to do.
I had a liquid morphine at 7pm and only the slow release at midnight. Let’s see what the pain levels are like in the morning without any further relief.
Overall, the day felt a bit disappointing after the big gains of the previous few days.
However, I did just do a huge and loud fart.
Post-Op Day 6
Had my first night without any additional painkillers and felt ok.
During the usual morning routine the clipboard crew came round and did the usual checks. I was then asked if I wanted to go home today or tomorrow like I needed a choice.
At last — it’s actually going home day.
The day progressed as usual but all I wanted was to get the discharge paperwork and that wasn’t going to happen until I got my prescriptions from the pharmacy. All in all it took until 3pm before I could leave.
The journey home was horrible and every bump felt like a jolt through my abdomen, but get home we finally did.
It felt quite emotional to be home again and I think the hospital experience will live with me in a not good way for a long time to come.
I hope and pray that I never have to go through the last seven days ever in my life ever again.
These notes end when I left the hospital.
Recovery did not.